now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
