my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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