even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
