it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
