Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
