do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
