And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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