Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
