Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
