Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Randomize
