yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
