He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
