Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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