why didn't you poke me back
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
