she was so not down for the gang bang
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
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