He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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