My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
