I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
farters have to be the big spoon...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
