this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So squirting runs in the family.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Randomize
