I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
