Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Sorry my hands just texted you
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
