id be glad to
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
