The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
