the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
