We should be called the Road Head Warriors
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
