It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
