bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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