it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
