i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
