Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Best friends brother. Beat that.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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