What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize