Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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