i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
