How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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