ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
