I need help removing her.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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