she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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