Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Maybe he injected his testicle?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize