Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
