the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
