I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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