FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
