she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
