Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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