the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
