Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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