Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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