My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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