so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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