addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
