Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize