what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
