I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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