cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
