capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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