yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize