wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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