Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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