Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
