She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize