i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
