either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
