nut hugger
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Randomize
