well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
